I’m 25

I’m 25

I’ve been 25 for a few days now
and I have a few things to say about it

No one ever told you how it would be in your twenties. One minute you feel you have all your shit together, you’re on the right path and the next time you wake up everything’s gone wrong?

I’m not sure why, but for as long as I can remember 25 was the age where I saw myself on the right path. I always thought no worries, you’ll know what you want when you’re 25… so what happens when you don’t?

I think my issue is that I don’t really know anyone much older than me, to tell me that everyone over 18 is in the same boat. That no one fully has everything figured out, and some people in their thirties are feeling the exact same way as me, and that’s fine too.

I decided this year that I would pursue a freelance career dream, as I knew if I left it any longer that it might not be possible. But months down the line, I want to buy a house and it’s the first time I’ve slightly doubted my decision. How do I get a mortgage? How can I guarantee that I can pay it? Who would want to sell to someone whose monthly finances rollercoaster so much, I feel sick?

At 25, I was supposed to know what was going on in my life. Where am I going to settle down? Where will I do my regular food shops? What phone will I decide on so I no longer have to keep getting £50+ contracts cos I’m so indecisive?

At 25, I should have known what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve started the dream by going freelance, but what people don’t tell you is how long you need to be on books before you can even THINK about buying a house. That’s been a bit of a bummer.

At 25, I was supposed to be body confident. Loving the skin I’m in, or at least actually done something about it. I’ve spent my whole life hating my body, internally (cheers IBS) and externally. I was supposed to be wearing denim hot pants at a festival drinking prosecco, because at 25 I’m fancy like that.

But I’m 25, and I haven’t achieved any of these things. Is that ok?

I think I’m finally accepting that it is.

I’m 25, and I recently got offered an incredible part-time job, to elevate some of the pressures i’ve had making sure my bills get paid. I will have time to focus on the things I actually went freelance for, and I can’t wait.

I’m 25, and I drank 6 cocktails on a Wednesday by 8pm because I’m an adult, and I don’t have anyone telling me I can’t. Sure, I felt sick when I got home, gave myself braids and made the saddest excuse of a dinner. But I’m a grown-ass woman now, I can do that.

I’m 25, and I’m sure that this year will be my best year yet. Working with more clients, being more creative, finding the perfect shampoo and conditioner combo for my hair, committing to the gym (maybe), being more free and happy, resulting in me giving less of a shit about the little things.

Here’s to being 25, and all it may bring.

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