Life

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I’m 25

I’m 25

I’ve been 25 for a few days now
and I have a few things to say about it

No one ever told you how it would be in your twenties. One minute you feel you have all your shit together, you’re on the right path and the next time you wake up everything’s gone wrong?

I’m not sure why, but for as long as I can remember 25 was the age where I saw myself on the right path. I always thought no worries, you’ll know what you want when you’re 25… so what happens when you don’t?

I think my issue is that I don’t really know anyone much older than me, to tell me that everyone over 18 is in the same boat. That no one fully has everything figured out, and some people in their thirties are feeling the exact same way as me, and that’s fine too.

I decided this year that I would pursue a freelance career dream, as I knew if I left it any longer that it might not be possible. But months down the line, I want to buy a house and it’s the first time I’ve slightly doubted my decision. How do I get a mortgage? How can I guarantee that I can pay it? Who would want to sell to someone whose monthly finances rollercoaster so much, I feel sick?

At 25, I was supposed to know what was going on in my life. Where am I going to settle down? Where will I do my regular food shops? What phone will I decide on so I no longer have to keep getting £50+ contracts cos I’m so indecisive?

At 25, I should have known what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve started the dream by going freelance, but what people don’t tell you is how long you need to be on books before you can even THINK about buying a house. That’s been a bit of a bummer.

At 25, I was supposed to be body confident. Loving the skin I’m in, or at least actually done something about it. I’ve spent my whole life hating my body, internally (cheers IBS) and externally. I was supposed to be wearing denim hot pants at a festival drinking prosecco, because at 25 I’m fancy like that.

But I’m 25, and I haven’t achieved any of these things. Is that ok?

I think I’m finally accepting that it is.

I’m 25, and I recently got offered an incredible part-time job, to elevate some of the pressures i’ve had making sure my bills get paid. I will have time to focus on the things I actually went freelance for, and I can’t wait.

I’m 25, and I drank 6 cocktails on a Wednesday by 8pm because I’m an adult, and I don’t have anyone telling me I can’t. Sure, I felt sick when I got home, gave myself braids and made the saddest excuse of a dinner. But I’m a grown-ass woman now, I can do that.

I’m 25, and I’m sure that this year will be my best year yet. Working with more clients, being more creative, finding the perfect shampoo and conditioner combo for my hair, committing to the gym (maybe), being more free and happy, resulting in me giving less of a shit about the little things.

Here’s to being 25, and all it may bring.

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My journey with XLS Medical*

Summer’s coming!

I have so many breaks planned, and I vowed to myself that this summer will be THE SUMMER that I wear shorts.

I’ve been body conscious for as long as I can remember, and have been too scared to wear the sorts of clothes I want because I hate the way I look. I wish I wasn’t, I know in the grand scheme of things I am not that big, but I’m just not happy.

I was always the bigger girl at school, and although people told me carried my weight well. I called bullshit and decided I needed to do something about it.

Over the years my eating habits have changed drastically, being diagnosed with IBS and being lactose intolerant does that to you. But I now swap a KFC bucket for a bowl of bulgur wheat, and I’m proud of the way my diet has changed. But as of late, I have been allowing multiple chocolate bars, biscuits and crisps. Things I would have NEVER done a year or so ago!

back to a bigger time, with awful hair choices

Though I definitely don’t look like this now, I’m always terrified that I’ll keep slipping up until I return to that person. I’m so not here for that. It does sometimes make me laugh though, because the picture on the left shows how furious I was that there wasn’t any chicken nuggets left!

I have decided to embark on a weight loss journey along with XLS-Medical, to see whether it works and I’m hopeful that it will get me into the habit of eating better, and keeping up whatever progress I make in the next few weeks.

I’m up for trying anything once. Slimfast and shake diets have never really been my thing, but this seemed a little different. I love that the shakes include B Vitamins for energy release (because I am so tired ALL THE TIME), 27g of protein (gains) and they’re gluten-free, non-GMO and vegetarian friendly!

 

So 5 months and 1 stone heavier, here I am.

Here’s how I’ve found it so far…

I didn’t to do a post as soon as I started, because it takes 3 weeks to create a habit and I didn’t want to sell something that wasn’t working for me.

The first week I did struggle, mainly because I’m used to stuffing my face whenever I want to and working from home made that even easier. It was hard to not physically chew on something and it showed. Though I had my shake and ate on top of that, (which is essentially adding 500 calories onto whatever I was actually eating!) I did still manage to lose inches even if I didn’t lose pounds.

I didn’t feel happy about it though, it didn’t feel natural. I turned to my Boost Buddies (a facebook page where people can leave tips and show progress) and they were incredibly motivating, I also spoke to Jodie, our nutritionist, and she informed me on what snacks I could have along side my shakes. This definitely helped a lot. I have been LOVING mixing the chocolate shake with hazelnut Alpro, it’s getting to the point where I’m actually craving it!

I am really happy with how it’s going so far, I’ve lost 3lb so far and quite a few inches. But not just that, my bloating has depleted dramatically. I have more energy and keeping myself full on the go has never been easier!

The real challenge is my holiday. Tomorrow, at 7pm, I will be getting the train to London. Preparing for a (half) decent nights sleep before jetting off to the USA and Canada! I’m intrigued how well I will do with my weight loss, and hoping that my step count will counteract all the good grub I’ll be too tempted by… We’ll see eh?

Good luck me!

*I have been gifted XLS-Medical products to aid me on my weight-loss journey for an honest review in return.
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so my tyre exploded…

I’ve been driving for just over 6 years now, so a pretty long time! I’ve been pretty lucky when it comes to my cars, never failed MOTs, never broken down, never had a car die on me unexpectedly (except my beautiful mini cooper that was rear-ended by a 4×4 on the M1, miss you baby girl) xoxox

This was all until last week.

As many of you know, I started 2018 being freelance, but because of where I live I definitely needed to pick up a part-time job so I’m not out on the streets with the sketchpads. I work at a company called Ohh Deer, I’m sure you stationary lovers have heard of it! It’s based in Loughborough, so I have been needing to rely on my car a lot more, as I used to walk to my old job (BLISS)

So on my way to work, I was toodling along listening to Fleetwood Mac, singing along with my mum on speaker phone (true story, I call her every morning on my way to work) when I heard a bang. It wasn’t incredibly loud, but enough to notice but not think much of.

All of a sudden the side of my car felt really wobbly, I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t really sure what it was. I’d never had tyre trouble before. I pulled over on the side of the road to see that my tyre was shredded – not really what you want at 8am on a Thursday. So I called my mechanic (dad) and he came to the rescue, he bought this little tin of foam called Holts Puncture Repair Kit which I recommend everyone keep in their car – inexpensive and a lifesaver! In this situation the miracle foam didn’t work, so Dad and I had to change my tyre on the side of the road and I took it to the Mr Tyre for a new one. He told me that the tyre was incredibly worn, even though my car had only had it’s MOT in October and had passed!

£66 down + a days pay lost = not a happy tiff

I was incredibly lucky to have not been on the motorway, counting my blessings that it exploded before!

So, that being said, here’s a few things I’d suggest for ultimate car safety:

  • Get your tyres/brakes inspected

It’s incredibly important, and it’s free! I always use Mr Tyre in Leicester, very quick and reliable. I honestly wouldn’t go anywhere else. I now know that having an MOT doesn’t mean your car is covered for the next year, and a lot of the time you can only just pass! This might be common knowledge to everyone else though, oops.

  • Treat yourself to a can of foam

Definitely not luxurious – but necessary. I wouldn’t be without mine now! If you’re stuck this cheap little companion will help you get your car to the closest garage (unless it was completely shredded like mine). My dad swears by them, and he’s driven his van for 2 years before taking it to the garage with this little miracle can… though I definitely wouldn’t suggest it.

  • Learn how to change your tyre

I have never felt so useless that when I realised I do not know how to change a tyre. I was pretty much setting myself up for failure! I would definitely recommend doing some research, watching a video, or even looking at your spare tyre kit because you never know when you’re going to need it.

 

So there you go, not the most exciting post in the world but definitely necessary! I hope you don’t find yourself in the same situation as me, sat on the site of the road looking like a kumquat whilst everyone was driving by.

 

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January update

It’s finally February! January was longer than my ASOS wish list…

I hope you’ve all had a kick-ass year so far!

If you’re with me and feel as though you’ve achieved nex to nothing so far this year then come take a seat next to me, and let me console you on why we shouldn’t be beating ourselves up about it.

Although I recently quit my job to follow a new career path, I’ve been so much more laxed than I thought I would be. To be honest, there’s been a few times I just sit at my computer, and stare a the screen because no one has told me what I should be doing… am I 24 or 14?

I could just hate on myself for not having a full line of my designs on sale, or for not completing my website and having it published, but what would the benefit be? I’m proud of what I have managed to achieve so far (as little as that many be)

  • I’ve designed a new flyer from scratch for a new client
  • Created logos for new companies
  • Had Instagram content approved by eBay (!)
  • Attended an amazing Bumble event thanks to Jess Who Blog and fallen in love with Hot Pod Yoga
  • Earned over 100 likes on my Frillustrations Facebook page
  • I got new photography clients, and I’ve loved taking fashion photos ⭐️
  • I opened up a business account for my company, I have a company number and everything!

So this is just a short post to remind myself that even if I haven’t achieved everything I was expecting to so far this year, that building a company and achieving your dreams isn’t a race… I’ll get there eventually.

 

 

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I quit my job…

We as a generation, have been scared into the idea of saving for a house, getting a well paid job, a degree, being social, eating healthy, finding the one, going to the gym regularly, pursuing your dreams and another 137 things by our next birthday.

I sacrificed myself to this life for a few years, I was super careful with money and made sure to put a good chunk of my wages into savings, my mortgage and I just felt I had nothing to show for it. Why was I being so careful? I wasn’t even planning on buying a house when I started my mortgage scheme. What if something happens to me next week and all this pre-planning was for nothing? Things in my life recently have truly made me realise that life is too short, and we should all be able to take a stab at making our dreams come true.

Lame I know.

But at the age of 24, I don’t feel like I have achieved what I wanted. I know this a common feeling amongst our generation, us millennials *vom*, what with social media shoving successful beautiful humans in our face resulting in us normal beings feeling like a failure.

I’m over it, it’s time I started doing what I intended with my 20’s.

At 18, I wanted to run away from everything and explore the world, seeing the views most of us only get to see in pictures and documenting everything via my blog. It wasn’t until the end of last year that I started to see my life a little more clearly.

At 24, I was well paid, I had a good job sort-of in the direction of what I wanted to do for a career… but I still had this feeling of just running away, catching a one-way flight and finally seeing white sand beaches, temples, mountains…

It wasn’t until I quit my job that I knew what I actually wanted.

I still want to travel, of course. I still want to see everything, literally go anywhere I have never been before. But suddenly it didn’t feel like running away, it felt like the next stage in my life. At 18 I wanted to live out of a backpack and go find myself, when in reality I would have come home with no direction (I would have had hella good insta pics though). I wasn’t in that place anymore. It wasn’t until I actually began to plan my next adventure that I realised that.

I had an amazing job at De Montfort University. I was tasked to create digital content to advertise the Business and Law courses we have/had to offer, I had the opportunity to go to New York for work, help behind the scenes on a TV advert, get great experience on video & photography. In addition to that I had a hilarious team, great pay, a good pension, I was able to walk to work with my love… hmm, maybe I made a mistake?

I kid. (at least I hope)

I decided to pack in all my creature comforts to attempt the unpredictable world that is freelance, terrifying I know. I felt that when I was working full-time, running a netball team, going Spanish class, doing household chores and trying to socialise I never had time to let my brain run free and create art and I was often creatively constipated, make sense? Hopefully I’m motivated enough to actually get some designs printed, get an Etsy store going and get shit done!

I wrote a post a while ago about a few of my favourite illustrators and how I felt so inspired by them, and how I wanted to be just like them. But it’s about time I stop talking about what I want to do and just do it, right? and as for the travelling, I have loads planned this year, mostly looking forward to Canada in May (eeeek!), Mexico at some point, my gal wants to celebrate her bday in Bali and I need to plan a trip to the USA with my love.

So here I am, in 2018, trying to make my dreams come true. I just need to remember that my goals aren’t a race, if I don’t achieve them all in 2018, it doesn’t mean I’ve failed. I’m planning my 20’s and my 20’s are for experimenting, let’s leave the serious stuff to my 30’s… maybe.

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